What do THEY want?



In a previous essay, I explained who THEY—the shadowy figures who run the world—really are.

To recap, it’s not lizard people or the Illuminati. It’s not any homogenous cabal. THEY is nothing more than an opportunistic alignment of incentives.

 

Kleptocrat Subphyla

The components of this amalgam have aligned, but not identical, intentions. To help us visualize this anatomy of power, let’s break THEM down into kleptocrat subphyla:

Imposters. Surprise, surprise! It turns out that most of THEM are actually us. Just People, who by chance or fate, found themselves owning more yachts and apartments in Monaco than the rest of us. In their case, it is easy to answer the question “What do they want”. What they want is essentially what we want, i.e. “A little more than everybody else, please”. If they can get enough stuff—just a little more, and better stuff—some primitive part of their mind believes they will finally out-rank their neighbours and be Truly Happy™ They won’t be. For the same reason we can’t stop eating cheesy poofs in bed, they can’t stop wanting more… …even if it breaks the world.  …which it will.These Imposters don’t actually care if the world burns. At some unconscious level, they would rather be winners in dystopia than lose their precarious status in the utopia that follows…

Bureaucracies. These are not living creatures. They are bundles of algorithms, some running on computers, some running on the co-opted minds of humans working for organizations. They want nothing more than the continuation of their existence. They don’t care if the world breaks. They don’t care about anything.

Vampires [I don’t mean literal night-walkers here. Vampire is just a powerful word that does a lot of heavy lifting. If you prefer, feel free to substitute with ‘psychopath’, or ‘predator’, or ‘power-hungry monster with an unslakable thirst for wealth’]. They are the apex of the pyramid. They are either unencumbered by morality or smart enough to think themselves convenient detours around such inconvenient instincts. They would prefer not to care about the destruction of the world, but they do wonder—after it has all fallen into mad-max ruin — who will make their lattes, mow their lawns, paint their art, and suffer in their dungeons.

So, what do these Vampires want? They are the only ones who matter. Always have been. The rest of us are cattle and useful idiots.

Ironically, at the moment, what they want is to save the world!

And my goodness does it need saving! Greed and consumption are getting out of hand. The atmosphere has sucked up as much burning rainforest as it can be expected to swallow before it starts vomiting up repercussions. The poor are being squeezed soo hard—just one more flex and they will suicide or riot. THEY can see bubbles of innovation escaping at the edges of the blankets of FUD THEY lay down to smother them. And finally, there is the worrying fact that central bank money printing machines don’t seem to come with off-switches anymore…

Reluctantly, not out of compassion or duty, the Vampires realize they need to save the world because at this point they don’t have a choice.

Let’s not get distracted by claiming the plutocrats can all run off to Mars. Mars is not currently an option. Mars is a hole. There is very little of anything fun up there. Sure, one day it will be awesome, with roulette wheels and hooters, but right now it’s not the kind of place a trillionaire oligarch wants to hang; not while Saint-Tropez and Fiji still have breathable air.

Vampires are not stupid—greedy and evil, yes, but not stupid. They know they have pushed the current system literally as far as it can go before it breaks. They are the winners of the last economic cycle, which started after the second world war. They made Trillions selling us stuff. At first, it was stuff we needed; then the stuff we could be persuaded we might need; and finally, in this time of predatory late-stage capitalism, it is the stuff we are too weak and demoralized to refuse, even if we hate the endless scrolling and know the sugar is killing us!

Power and extreme wealth was made selling us junk and poison. More wealth was made greasing the pipes which delivered us the money we needed to buy it all. Then THEY made even more betting with themselves that they would be able to make still further obscene amounts of wealth later. When they won that bet too, they paid their winnings back in, betting on leveraged constructs which depended on ever-increasing growth, which… on… greed… grow… forever…

There is no intrinsic value to be mined from society anymore. THEY have already monetized goodwill; made financial instruments out of love and care; pushed marketing [aka propaganda and indoctrination] to the point where human minds exposed to it shatter into insanity…

With heavy hearts, the Vampires know that to save the world, this current system—the one that treats them sooo well—needs to be torn down.

They pulled up the deck of our ship to feed their furnace. They burnt the cargo, ripped out the beds in steerage, pulled down the cabins in second class. They fed everything back into the engine until most of the ship was hollowed out;

until, even through the thick mahogany panels of first-class, the ship’s engines’ screams of agony were impossible to ignore…

THEY know this round of the game needs to end. THEY know the era of the petrodollar is closing. Nepotism, self-serving monopolies, and corruption were fine in a world without competition. But now, as a new power rises in the East, it is clear that focusing all the worlds talents and intellectual energy on making money — a token which should have been a means to an ends, but which ended up as the ends itself — was a mistake. Globalisation was a great ruse while it lasted, even better than the trickle-down economics that proceeded it; but the cost was the hollowing out of our societies and the stifling of innovation. It has left us vulnerable to the coming disruption — whether from TSLA or PLA.

 





How does this play out?

During the reset, which by now is inevitable, the banks will have to go. We have moved on from the auto-cannibalism phase to the survival phase. Banks no longer do anything useful. They must be allowed to go quietly into the night. Governments have already started going behind their backs. For the first time, money is being paid directly to the people without intermediaries skimming fees and interest off the top. Soon you will have Central Bank Digital currency UBI mainlining into your wallets. This will bypass the banks altogether. [You’d better spend it quickly though because it will come with a ‘use-by’ date. That cash is supposed to keep the economy reanimated! It’s not for you to save for a rainy day!]

There is very little in our kayfabe economy with value beyond short term marketing and hype. When the banks go, taking the precarious piles of esoteric derivatives with them, the funny money and wonky-wealth is going to evaporate. On the other side of this crashlapse, all demands for status and security are going to have to squeeze into whatever legitimate and incorruptible stores of value are left. Because Central Bank Digital currency will be entirely at the whims of the governments who issue it, no serious adult will want to store their savings in it, not while the depravations of the crashlapse are still fresh in their minds. It will be fine for buying a pint, just don’t imagine you will ever save up enough to buy a pub, the ‘use-by’ date was not a joke.

The old favourite reservoirs of wealth used to be land and labour, but work is now done by robots, leaving only property. Oh, and gold, ideally buried in the garden, [deeper than a meter is usually fine]. Forget about paper gold, when the crash really starts picking up steam, just try taking your gold ETF certificate to the bank and cashing out. Silly paper gold will suddenly look ridiculous and it won’t be alone. Retirement funds, pension accounts, options, swaps, obligations, perhaps even custody accounts, will all end up in the water…

THEY torched the lifeboats! Surfing high, skipping across the waves, THEY burnt the hull above the water too. If we slow now, we sink!If we don’t, we explode!

There are only two options now. Inflation: keep on burning the ship beneath us, heating things until the engine explodes; or Deflation, let the engine cool, let the ship slump and sink.

So, what do THEY want?What will the Vampires choose?

Door A: Hyperinflation. Wages go up, assets go up, interest rates stay low. Savings and pensions get wiped out. Debt disappears. People pay off their mortgages with their lunch money. We all end up poor but keep roofs over our heads and get a fresh start to build again.

Or will THEY pick DoorB: Deflation. Lending rates go up. The stock market collapses as companies default into bankruptcy. Citizens are not able to pay crazy interest and lose their houses… which go back to the banks, which are themselves failing and having their assets scooped up by anybody who still has cash… [any guesses as to who that might be?]

To see which scenario is most likely, we simply follow the money—[or rather the value, remember, money is going to be worthless].

Stores of value will be critical to jump-starting a new round of the game once the dust has settled after the crashlapse. Collateral will be required to issue new currency—better currency, solid, far more sensible than the silly old worthless notes clogging the gutters of burnt-out downtown… Currency needs to be backed by something scarce [even Bitcoin is backed by computation]. The only stores of value post crashlapse will be property, gold, maybe stocks in a few companies which survived the turmoil, and some underground flavours of crypto THEY did not manage to stamp out.

If you hold these, you will be the new rich…

Most people don’t have Crypto or gold, but some own houses. Unlike gold, houses can’t easily be seized under the pretext of the common good. Unlike Crypto, they cannot trivially be made illegal. People are protective of their land and are likely to do stupid things like shooting people who try to take it from them. THEY will need a cunning plan to swindle ‘we the people’ out of the enormous, irresistible mounds of wealth we are sitting on—or rather sheltering under.

This then is the answer to the question, of inflation versus deflation:

Expect a surge in interest rates. Mortgage payments will swell beyond the point where most people are able to pay them. The only option will be to default. A lot of people will lose their homes. Deeds will go to the banks, the banks will fail. In some guise, THEY will bail out the banks to get their hands on piles of collateral [our former homes] which can then be used to issue new money against. [The actual identity of the organisations representing the interests of our nocturnal masters will be depend on whether we have a war, and who wins…]

If you are concerned about what happens to the former homeowners, don’t be. THEY will happily convert squatters into renters. THEY will deduct what they are owed every month at source from the Universal Basic Income allowance the government will pay everybody directly from their Magic Money Tree [Modern Monetary Theory].

It’s so perfect it is almost beautiful! It will be a new deal! A new deck of cards! The only catch is that everybody will be dealt the same hand as last game, but we’ll all be too busy looking at the pretty pictures on the backs of the new cards to even notice.

What do THEY want?

They are FK*%&NG VAMPIRES! 
They want everything!
Which means YOU get to own nothing!

…to be fair, they’re not even keeping it a secret. They already told us…

You’ll own nothing. And you’ll be happy!
You’d better be;
THEY’ll have places for trouble makers who aren’t…




Who Are They



This is a tricky one. My Monkey Logic column started out as a kind of joke. Look! Ha Ha! We are Monkeys! We think we are soo smart! Typical human hubris! But as I wrote the pieces, it turned out the hubris was mine. I’d believed the insight that ‘we are animals’, was quirky enough to riff a few amusing essays off of. Perhaps I might make a few people think, I thought. Maybe nudge a few into changing their environments to make life a bit more comprehensible to a poor perplexed Monkey cowering in each of their heads.

Writing the essays, I got pulled into thinking about primate hard wiring; how each generation of our species learnt how to survive sharing a patch of forest/savanna/classroom with angry, chest-beating Alphas. I mused at how, over millions of years, lippy apes, who pissed off the Alphas, got beaten to death with branches before bringing children into the world; evolution informing us, in its typical blunt fashion, that it’s best to not mess with the Alpha; not to question power.
We are herd animals, or troop animals, which is basically the same thing. We no longer live in the jungle or on the open savanna, but we still have that old Monkey Logic running in our ape minds. Logic built to make the Alpha happy. Our behaviour is wired to anticipate what the Alpha wants: don’t sleep with his mate, don’t rock the boat, go along with the latest fashion, aspire to buy a Rolex, align with consensus opinions, do what you are told! OBEY!

I stopped finding it funny. My writing may have suffered. Sorry about that. Things were serious. It looked like human behaviour really was dominated by subconscious forces; animal emotions; evolutionary heuristics; MonkeyLogic if you will.

I am not burying the lead. I promised to reveal who THEY are, and I will, I wanted to set the evolutionary stage first. So, here goes, who are THEY?

At one level they are our own creations. Psychological pathologies personified. Mental demons projected into the world. If you are familiar with the film, they are the monsters from Forbidden Planet.

We are simps [not chimps, look it up], sycophants. 80% of us will never comment on the emperor’s lack of clothes, however much his nudity puts us off our soup. There has to be a THEY because our primate programming needs something to put on the pedestal waiting in our minds. We want to read about their affairs and what appliances they have in their kitchens. 80% of us need this pointless nonsense in our lives. It doesn’t matter that they are dumb Apes like us. We don’t care. If the troop decides they are the Alphas, we are programmed to care who they sleep with and whether they bake good cakes.

We imagine our masters into existence. We make rods for our own backs - then we hand them to anybody with a blue tick, a black AmEx, or golden Rolex.

But most of THEM, the people we look up to, are just as confused as we are. They have more stuff, but they are shaved-apes way out of their depths, just like us, except they are often less happy and more stressed. They don’t really understand how they got into the first-class line in the first place. They suspect it might have something to do with all the handbags and expensive shoes they own, but they can’t be sure. They never had to clean the toilet and they don’t know why. This scares them. They worry that if they say or do the wrong thing, somebody might make them put on a pair of marigold yellow gloves and start! The last thing these imposter-alphas want is to draw attention to themselves. They suspect there might be real monsters out there ready to tear them apart if they slip up. They are right.

Most people don’t have the capacity to lead. Of those who do, most are unwilling to make the impossible moral choices necessary to perform the job. Anybody who does step up in this world of terrible compromises must therefore be both capable AND ruthless. This doesn’t necessarily make them bad. There are a few good leaders who are both of these things. They understand that talking softly and carrying a big stick means that sometimes you might have to hit somebody over the head with it. But how does this hypothetical ethical leader react when the people who need hitting are innocents? What if not hitting them only hurts more innocents? What if the trolley will always crush someone and you need to choose who… NOW! CHOOSE! WHO DIES?! CHOOSE! What if there are no good answers? What do you do then? Even if you started out as one of that vanishingly small fraction of people who can, want to, and want to for the right reasons? What then? Confronted with the impossibility of the task? I think you give up in the face of this abyss. You retreat into delusion. You convince yourself you are in charge while abdicating real responsibility to others. You take the payoff that is waiting; million dollar speaking engagements; chauffeur driven transport for the rest of your life; fancy trips to Caribbean islands on private jets with pretty young stewardesses. You never admit these are payoffs. You allow the tricky decisions to pass to the bankers, the generals, and the regulators. You displace any residual horror by speaking at the UN, choosing a new CEO, shopping for a new housekeeper, or attending TED or WEF. You plug your ears to the screams.

This is true for those leaders who didn’t start out as psychopaths in the first place. The less said about the latter the better.
As I warned, it is tricky. There is no cabal of Illuminati huddling in Bavarian castles, discussing the bloodline of the Son of Man [well there might be, but it would be a side show]. There is instead a lot of ignorance, a lot of bureaucracy, and a little evil.

So, to summarize, THEY are:

Imposters; most are simply the 20% the universe decides will always have the lion’s share, regardless of any underlying meritocratic justification [check out Zipf’s law, or the 80–20 rule ]. The wiring of our monkey brains ignores any obvious deficits and insist their ideas and wellbeing must be lofted above our own petty wants and needs. Out of their depth, these individuals are often scared and confused. They are always looking for a real Alpha to agree with:

Leaders; the few good men and women who start out clean only to shatter on contact with the fractal fuckedness of the modern world. Minds reeling from the horror they delegate to:

Bureaucracies; endless committees, algorithms, think-tanks, and corporations. All the non-human entities that have intent without compassion or comprehensions, and which are, in turn, run by:

Psychopaths; those who understand it all and just kind of like the sticky feel of our blood on their hands.

THEY is a gestalt beast, easier to picture as a ravenous, sadistic evil from another dimension, than a collection of policies and peons (think British Telekom or AT&T).

THEY is a mob of emergent, crowd-sourced evil made up mostly of dumb b-list celebrities and mundane-middle-managers.

THEY is the MAN. It doesn’t matter if they are in denial, deliberately ignorant of the horror their compliance is supporting, uncomprehending algorithms maximising numbers that have no meaning, or cold technocrats playing with lives as a child plays with Lego.

THEY is a fortification of compliance; an adobe insect castle built from our own archaic behaviour to protect the bloated corrupted grubs of power skulking in dark tunnels below.

THEY is POWER.

Whenever I suspect I might be one of THEM, I use whatever puny levers of power are available to me, to make sure I remain one of US instead.

In the next and final essay in this series, I am going to tell you what THEY want.